The Menu Uses More Words Than the Meal

A fictional comedy from CyberBabiez. The characters and events are invented.

The menu described the dish as a locally imagined, gently contemplated, artistically adjacent celebration of roundness.

Mr. Buttons asked what it was.

A pretend pea, said the waiter.

Nib admired the description. He had never seen a pea receive so much professional attention.

The next course was a heritage-inspired, gravity-aware arrangement of golden geometry. It was a cracker on a plate.

By dessert, the menu had become a small novel. The guests needed bookmarks.

Nib asked whether the chef could describe one dish plainly. The chef emerged looking relieved.

It's a nice biscuit, she said.

Everyone ordered it.

The review praised the final course for its clarity. The restaurant shortened its menu the following week, and the printer was the only person who complained about the change.

Read another story: The Food Critic's Rival Is a Rubber Duck.

Explore the full series: The Tiny Food Critic: Five Stars for the Wrong Spoon.

For a little humor in your own wardrobe, explore the Funny Babies collection at CyberBabiez. These graphic tees are for adults.