The Haunted House Has a Very Ordinary Maintenance List

A fictional comedy from CyberBabiez. The characters and events are invented.

The haunted house called a residents' meeting about a squeaky door. Zed assumed this was praise.

No, said the ghost. It squeaked at the wrong moment.

The curtains billowed beautifully but kept obscuring the thermostat. The mysterious footsteps were wearing out the rug. Somebody had left a dramatic cobweb across the noticeboard.

Zed offered to organize repairs. He labeled each problem either spooky on purpose or inconvenient by accident.

The list grew surprisingly short. Most residents liked the atmosphere; they simply wanted the cupboard to open properly.

By Friday, the house was comfortably haunted. The door squeaked only during office hours.

A visiting skeleton praised the improvements.

The ghost nodded proudly, then asked whether anyone knew a reliable person who could fix a chair without describing it as cursed.

Read another story: Zombie Yoga Is Mostly Remembering the Appointment.

Explore the full series: Zombie Baby Neighborhood: Mostly Harmless, Slightly Late.

For a little humor in your own wardrobe, explore the Zombie Babies collection at CyberBabiez. These graphic tees are for adults.